Ex- England captain Lewis Moody has announced he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet deal with the full consequences of the muscle-wasting condition that took the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was a member of the 2003 championship side and secured numerous English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast two weeks after finding out he has the illness.
"There's an element of looking the future in the face and not wanting to fully comprehend that at the present time," he commented.
"It isn't that I am unaware of where it's going. We understand that. But there is definitely a unwillingness to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, conversing with his wife Annie, explains instead he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his present welfare, his family and making preparations for when the condition deteriorates.
"Possibly that's shock or possibly I handle situations differently, and after I have the information, it's more manageable," he added.
Initial Symptoms
Moody learned he had MND after noticing some lack of strength in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After physical therapy failed to improve the issue, a series of scans revealed nerve cells in his neurological system had been affected by MND.
"You're presented with this diagnosis of MND and we're understandably very moved about it, but it's quite odd because I sense that I'm perfectly healthy," he remarked.
"I don't sense ill. I don't experience sick
"My symptoms are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the hand and the shoulder.
"I continue to be able to doing whatever I want. And with luck that will persist for as long as is feasible."
Disease Progression
MND can progress swiftly.
Based on the charity MND Association, the disease takes the lives of a one-third of people within a 365 days and more than half within 24 months of diagnosis, as eating and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Medical care can only delay worsening.
"It's never me that I am upset for," commented an moved Moody.
"There's sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an only child - and the ramifications that has for her."
Family Impact
Talking from the residence with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was consumed with emotion when he spoke about informing his sons - 17-year Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the devastating news, saying: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was rather heartbreaking," Moody remarked.
"We sat on the sofa in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog bounded over and began cleaning the tears off our faces, which was somewhat funny."
Moody explained the emphasis was remaining in the moment.
"We have no treatment and that is why you have to be very intensely focused on just embracing and enjoying all aspects now," he said.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been really blessed that the only real determination I made when I left playing was to allocate as much duration with the kids as attainable. We can't reclaim those years back."
Sportsman Connection
Elite athletes are disproportionately affected by MND, with studies proposing the rate of the condition is up to sixfold higher than in the broader public.
It is considered that by limiting the air obtainable and creating injury to motor neurone cells, regular, intense physical activity can initiate the disease in those already genetically susceptible.
Athletic Career
Moody, who won 71 England appearances and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in recognition of his fearless, unwavering style to the game.
He competed through a bone injury of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once sparked a workout confrontation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he abandoned a tackle pad and started participating in tackles.
After appearing as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the end of the set piece in the decisive passage of play, creating a base for scrum-half Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to score the match-winning drop kick.
Assistance System
Moody has previously informed Johnson, who led England to that title, and a few other ex- colleagues about his condition, but the rest will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a moment when we'll need to rely on their assistance but, at the present, just having that type of affection and acceptance that people are available is what's important," he said.
"This game is such a wonderful group.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even when it concluded now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you get to label your passion your profession, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"Achieving this for so extended a period with the groups that I did it with was a delight. And I know they will desire to help in any way they can and I anticipate having those talks."
